The Week I Lost to Back-to-Back Friendships

My first friend (the one that died) and I had major
conflicts over the years. Yet we still remain friends (even though he was much
older than I was). He made me laugh; it was his youthfulness that made him
unstoppable. He also introduced me to the great game of golf.
In golf, as in life, the main thing is to connect the club
with the ball. That’s all that there is to it! He showed me that connecting in
golf is as connecting with people. That ability to connect increases my chances
of getting my ball in the hole.
Connecting with people increases my chances of having a relationship
with them that endures. A relationship in which I can serve them; and
infrequently, they can serve me.
My Second Friendship Lost…
Though my second friend and I did not know each other as
long as did friend #1 and I, we had a great relationship. This is/was a
relationship where there was much reciprocal giving -- on both ends. It was
very enjoyable, yet I noticed as time went on, my friend aged, and a certain
degree of grumpiness or irritability started to set.
And many times I didn’t see it coming or maybe I was too
preoccupied with myself to see it coming. Nevertheless, I adjusted. What did I
do? I decided that I had had just about enough -- and sometimes, enough is
enough is enough.
I remember the last phone call that we had. I was going on about my day as I usually do (and
as he usually enjoys it); and he said to me. “I no longer want to hear about your
-- call someone else that are similar for sharing and impress them. I don’t
want hear it!”
I deleted his phone number from my digital rolodex—post haste.
That gave me closure. It gave me the wherewithal to gain what I needed in order
to close a chapter of my life. Now, on to the next part of my life and friendships.
As in life, they all evolve and resolve
I still hold the fondness and intimacy of my friendships
close to my heart, yet we start new friendships again. Through it all, we have
to remain true to ourselves. Not narcissistic -- not selfish -- but true to
ourselves. If we were not careful -- I do mean really careful – we may lose not
only life’s friendship, but also our hunger, desire, and willingness to connect
with others. What’s the benefit of all of this? Friendships. [Dedicated in
memoriam to my good friend and fellow Army Bandsman, T.A. Montoya {RIP}]
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